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Captured By Reflections
August 25, 2011
Nameless: each one hopeless. Coldly whispering: “To tall, to short. To fat, to skinny. To pale, to flushed.” So steady yet so rushed. Each the same, but still so different. Alone, yet you know judging eyes are watching, pressuring. Disappointed in themselves, disgusting. Rethinking their status, rethinking themselves. Soul wrenching. They try to escape, but they can’t. Surrounded. Trapped. In a house of mirrors.
© Jill H., Pompton Plains, NJ
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This article has 10 comments.
InfiniteRain BRONZE said...
on Nov. 19 2011 at 9:36 pm
Very Deep, I love it :)
fdbfdsf said...
on Oct. 31 2011 at 12:31 pm
really beautifully written. the concept in itself is so unique. well done. one suggestion would be to use 'too' instead of 'to' because that's grammatically incorrect. but i still love it. could you check out my work, tell me what you think and rate? id really appreciate it
livelovesmile GOLD said...
on Sep. 6 2011 at 8:49 pm
thank you!(:
xximjustmexx PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 9:57 pm
amazing 5/5
elfishy said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 4:19 pm
it was really deep :) it wasnt very long but it said a lot.
dontwantologin... said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 8:48 pm
i think this would be a lot better if you put this in the free verse style, and not sentences. very good, tho! :)
jojo said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 5:34 pm
It's really nice!!!
livelovesmile GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2011 at 2:17 pm
Thank you so much I really appreciate the feedback!
BeLoveToday PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 30 2011 at 8:12 am
I really like that you chose to format this piece in a prose poem, because the message is conveyed more directly and vividly. Sometimes, when we try to use a rhyme scheme to express a certain idea, the words just sound forced and don't flow. Free verse, especially prose poems are great because you can use sound techniques like internal rhyme (Too pale, too flushed. So steady, yet so rushed) and others to generate emotions in the reader WITHOUT following a specific pattern. Great job, and keep writing!
InTheSpiritOfRain said...
on Aug. 29 2011 at 8:22 pm
I agree. We can't please everybody.
