The room spins with an awkward Intensity
As I find myself (once again) Questioning what is real
Fearing that time will steal Another moment
From my consistently weakening Grasp
Unknown forces pillage my thoughts
3:00 am
Ideas jump from my mind like Suicide bombers
Burning and fizzling as they Plummet to the ground
Confused by my feelings
And confused by the world
I vomit emotion onto a page
Hoping it will save me from being Broken
But words cannot contain
The run away
Freight train
That is my soul
On fire and restless
Far too tired to sleep
Way too hungry to eat
Too thirsty to drink
Too EVERYTHING to think
I mean what I say
But I can never say what I mean
So I stare a the T.V. screen
Hoping it will make me normal
OR at the very least numb



Wash my brain
Wash it clean
Burn it down with kerosene
Self inflicted lobotomy
I wish I could tell you what's wrong with me
I bring new meaning to heart Disease
Everything I love runs speedily
It's for the best
Don't you agree?
They'll never see
My crazy streak
They'll love me for
What I am not
The empty smiles
And pointless thoughts
I'll put them in my special box
and pretend that I forgot
This is just a game I play
to keep the rain at bay
Nothing more to say
I was born this way
It's how I'll stay
I can't change

Hopefully my lies will buy me
time to hide the pain
before somebody sees
Just how much you meant to me
Someday I'll dream without seeing your face
And take my place in the human race
But not today
I'm not okay
And that's not okay
it's very clear that I
cannot be
sad and loved
So I'll burn in silence