In and out | Teen Ink

In and out

April 2, 2011
By Kelly Li BRONZE, Stoughton, Massachusetts
Kelly Li BRONZE, Stoughton, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I live in the revolving door
Glass panels surrounding on all sides
Moving in a constant circle
Like my own personal solar system
With me at its center
Alone except for the occasional star
Slipping through the leaves
Always coming in and out with a bang
Hurrying onward toward the future
Where we no longer meet
So I stay in the revolving door
Waiting for another star to come
Bridging the gap between time:
What was, what is, and what will be
Just a memory soon enough



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This article has 5 comments.


Zammy BRONZE said...
on May. 13 2011 at 7:38 pm
Zammy BRONZE, Eagan, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge."

Your poem is simply amazing! Great work!

on May. 12 2011 at 12:48 pm
dancergurl22 BRONZE, Grand Junction, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love, like you can't get hurt
Dance, like no one's watching
Live, like there's no tomorrow

i love this poem!

on May. 11 2011 at 2:05 pm
AdultSwim PLATINUM, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 12 comments

'Fudge' all them. Adding in space and stars just makes it more eloquent. Or maybe kf00zy is right, talking about anything outside of our own world and angst is unoriginal and confounding.

Nah. This is one of the first relatively popular poems on here that doesn't make we want to throw up at its popularity. Good stuff.


on May. 10 2011 at 4:50 pm
Kfuzesi13 SILVER, Someplace, New Jersey
5 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right."
-Markus Zusak, The Book Theif

I love the image of the revolving door but when you bring in space and stars and leaves I got a little confused. Also, I don't know if you wanted it that way, but adding some punctuation would help your readers know when to pause. Other than that, theres something about this poem that I really like. Spinning around and around in a revolving door is almost scary and comforting at the same time.

on May. 10 2011 at 2:40 pm
Marlyre PLATINUM, Kalamazoo, Michigan
21 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
"when you cry, do you waste your tears?" Madonna

nice concrete images... beautifully capturing the spinning world we live in