I drown in self-medications
Seeking a remedy for these gruesome scars that mar my soul
Left by these bloody memories
Clearly determined to tear down the walls of my sanity
I think of you and how you must feel
But my selfish nature refuses to let me care
I marinade myself in your consolations
I need you to continue feeling this pain in order to make myself feel better
And I loathe myself for it
It sickens me each time I see you
I try to push you away, to save you
But then I become weak and break down
Sucking you back in
Jerking you around like a dog on a leash
We’re terrible for each other, unhealthy and unnatural
Yet we crave each other, a toxic compulsion
Because misery loves company