If only | Teen Ink

If only

February 20, 2011
By e.nadeem PLATINUM, Karachi, Other
e.nadeem PLATINUM, Karachi, Other
37 articles 0 photos 8 comments

If all the signs were true and the stars
Shone just the way I wanted them to
And if the wind blew in the direction
As unreal as I wished it to blow in
If all those I could not control like the sun,
The moon, rain, the array of colors
Of the rainbow, planets, stars, people,
Would magically follow my every command
Without me having to ask even once
If my heart would beat only when I wanted
And my enemies’ would stop exactly when I asked
If my violent nature and fury weren’t as stoppable
As the under-age kid who walks into the bar
With a fake ID card and drinks the night away
If I could, on bare feet, run away as far
As they would take me, in weather
As ugly and bearable as it is bitter
If the whole world froze when I felt
Too tired to watch them move faster than the speed of light
For things and ideas which meant nothing
If the press of a button could mute all
Those voices which filled my head
With senseless things I do not care for.
If I could ride a rollercoaster moving at breakneck speed
Only to stop midway in a hoop upside down
So hanging in the car, watching without greed
The whole world at a standstill underneath me
While I watch from the skies, or maybe
It’s just an illusion- not that far above the seas
If I could then observe how the world upside down
Is not much different from the way it is the right side up
At least that’s what I see, looking upon my town
And all those people with nothing to lose
People I know and people I don’t
People I’ll befriend and people I won’t
If only the highest mountain I could climb
Would give me the mere satisfaction of
Achieving something which for once wasn’t wrong
Instead of misery at being
So far away from where I really belong.
If books and pen and paper were enough
To take away every second of my day
Instead of pulling me into a kaleidoscope
Of thoughts, memories, emotions which have me
Hanging on to a rope slowly slipping away
Into nothingness- a blur
If only all the regret inside me was as effortless to confess
As it was as a child to come home and tell my mother
“I accidentally forgot my new lunchbox at school.”
If only every person around me
Was just as I anticipated, or even more, of a fool
To believe every redundant lie I fed them
Just to be able to put my past behind me
And yet- it’s as good as moving on
Back to history.
If even an ounce of love was enough,
And to some, money didn’t matter so much.
If only, to me, it wasn’t all as senseless
As every entity around me wasn’t faultless
If, like glue, people stuck to their every promise
And if even that glue was everlasting.
If the poor agonized bird, shot through her wing
Would one day be able to fly again?
If hope wasn’t so hard to regain
For people deprived of it for a lifetime
If every word my pen wrote, would rhyme
And if there was no concern about
Running out of time
If only it was all that simple, that easy
That painless, that understandable
And even more explicable
And everything that
It’s really not.
If only..

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This article has 1 comment.

kesher said...
on Mar. 24 2011 at 9:55 am
kesher, Singapore, Other
0 articles 1 photo 6 comments
wow, great imagery/ erm, analogies?