I should have known better.
You’d think that after seeing it
So many times
And telling myself it wouldn’t happen
To me,
I’d be careful.
I’d know when to turn tail
I wouldn’t abandon what my head tells me not to do,
And instead listen to my heart.
I should have been prepared for this
But God knows you can’t just live
Precariously.
I should have known better.
You have to experience it firsthand,
Being used,
Feeling worthless.
It’s not enough to see it on TV.
Because you never really learn
Until you experience it.
My heart being cut down the middle
My hopes being cut not just in two,
But into smithereens,
As if never existing at all.
I wonder if it ever will again.
I should have known better.
Throughout it all
I find myself still following my heart
And ignoring my head.
Uncontrollable, more helpless than before.
More helpless than I’ve ever felt before.
Even when experienced firsthand,
It’s hard to learn.
And even more importantly,
It’s impossible to forget.
I should have known better.