These Lines | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Free Verse
  4. These Lines

These Lines

November 2, 2010
By FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
More by this author
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
51 articles 0 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have faith in fools;self confidence my friends call it&quot;~Edger Allan Poe<br /> &quot;In this world of infinite insanity, your friends are the best psychiatrists you will ever have.&quot;~Me

View profile

Those lines, dawning the page
With such elegance, yet rebuke
For the milky white
upon which they are set
The crawl, tenebrous in their act
To asphyxiate meaning
Yet the curves and twirls
Form so much more in the
Suggestive mind
That one mere character
Could shape the very life
Of one's mere existence
Cascades of grey and silver
Wrought havoc across the blue
For the blue felt
And in this feeling the blue shunned
The silvers and grey
As if they were only
Shadows from past trifles
Of so long ago

© Kathleen M., Rowlett, TX

The author's comments:
Any comments and criticism is much needed and appreciated
Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
To a Brother Growing Up
By imperfection GOLD
Gilroy, California
imperfection GOLD, Gilroy, California
17 articles 9 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Dream as though you&#039;ll live forever, live as though you&#039;ll die today.&quot;<br /> ~James Dean (1931-1955), American Motion Picture Actor, symbol of rebellion

View profile
Poetry
Lightning
By Rachel Bellah BRONZE
Seattle, Washington
Rachel Bellah BRONZE, Seattle, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment
View profile
Poetry
Motley Crue: I really hear you
By Arbys GOLD
Dobbs Ferry, New York
Arbys GOLD, Dobbs Ferry, New York
15 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.&quot;Edgar Allan Poe<br /> &quot;A dream doesn&#039;t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. ~Colin Powell&quot; ~ Colin Powell<br /> &quot;Wisdom is not finally tested in the schools, Wisdom <br /> &quot;A poem is never finished, only abandoned.&quot;-Paul Valery

View profile
Poetry
cry
By carreyelaine GOLD
Arlington, Tennessee
carreyelaine GOLD, Arlington, Tennessee
12 articles 4 photos 1 comment
View profile
Poetry
Secret Crush
By C.J.H. BRONZE
Benciao City, Taipei County, Other
C.J.H. BRONZE, Benciao City, Taipei County, Other
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Sometimes the world tries ot knock it out of you. But I believe in music the way that some people believe in fairy tales.&quot; August Rush(2007)

View profile
Poetry
Nothing good comes from Pyromania
By Nelle PLATINUM
Crewkerne, Other
Nelle PLATINUM, Crewkerne, Other
21 articles 10 photos 49 comments
View profile

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

FlyleafFreak DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 2 2011 at 8:27 pm
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
51 articles 0 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have faith in fools;self confidence my friends call it&quot;~Edger Allan Poe<br /> &quot;In this world of infinite insanity, your friends are the best psychiatrists you will ever have.&quot;~Me

View profile
Wow, thanks so much. I mean, legit constructive crisitscm!?!?! Unheard of!! Lol, what I mean is thanks.
TanGem PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2011 at 6:33 pm
TanGem PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
34 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is not a feeling; it is a gift, an act, an ultimate sacrifice. -Me (Em)

View profile
One last thing: the word "very" and "mere" (on the 11th and 12th lines) contradict each other. So I would suggest going with either one or the other. :) Hope that was helpful!
TanGem PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2011 at 6:30 pm
TanGem PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
34 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is not a feeling; it is a gift, an act, an ultimate sacrifice. -Me (Em)

View profile
Maybe one thing to look at is your wordchoice with the word "life." (At about the middle of the poem.) Since you already said "existence," "life" is not necessary. Instead you could try something more descriptive, maybe "form" or "trails?" Just suggestions-- I don't want to put words in your mouth. :)
TanGem PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2011 at 6:27 pm
TanGem PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
34 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is not a feeling; it is a gift, an act, an ultimate sacrifice. -Me (Em)

View profile
Whoa, this is really good! Have you been published by TeenInk yet?!