I take it back
I take it ALL back
I’ll go back in time and cover my past self’s mouth
To take it back
To take back those two words that strapped me into and emotional rollercoaster with my heart tied to the tracks
I told you for your own good
I told you so that you wouldn’t come to me asking
“Why didn’t you tell me?” “How could you let me act like that?”
You didn’t thank me
Fine
You didn’t freeze
Fine
You didn’t ask, “Who told you?” or “Are you sure?”
Fine
You yelled, “Well thanks now I’m pissed!”
NOT FINE
You ran away
You left me feeling hollow but my tear ducts full
And what kills me isn’t that you didn’t tell me straight up “I need my space.”
You fed me lies
Had mood whiplash
Struck with verbal smacks
Over and over and OVER
Until my tears were dries by the heat of the sting
I wish I could take it back
But at the same time I don’t
Because now that I’m not walking on glass
Or censoring my words
Or being brought to the edge and back only to tumble down
I know what I need
And it is NOT you