loli know you were girl:) and i appriciate it. thanks!

and i know what you mean by people reading it not understand my "masked meaning". and i'm perfectly fine with that. i create my poetry for me..not for other people to understand. like..i love explaining it if sumone doest get what im trying to portray thru my work..but i wudn't change my style of writing to seem more "obvious" to my readers..ya know?? idk, thats just me lol

oh yeah. and the thing about his "silly mind" and then saying that i need his love to remain clever..not everything has to be black and white. he IS sillt and has a silly mind. lol. but that doesnt mean he is not smart and clever..silly doesnt imply stupid, or immature in my mind.......

...more like goofy and haveing a fun personality. and being different and funny. in my oppinion.

thanks for the constructive critisism. first off, sorry if it was "akward" for you to read. lol. i don't really get why..how old are we? but i appriciate your honest oppinion. and thanks for the compliments:)

and with the "seemilgy" thing, it wasnt meant to "contradict" anything, or watever. it was explaining how the pain im going through is the only thing i can focus on..and the teers falling down my face are something that doesnt seem real. "seemingly" as in, i know its happening..but i cannot feel it, because i feel nothing but my pain.

idk, just trying to explain where i'm coming from. lol. thanks again for the comment!

Rhyming- I'm all for it, and in this instance, it saved your poem. i thought it was done casually but very effectively. 

Couple of picky things: Second line- get rid of the "Seemingly". Let it be a strong determined fact, a metaphor doesn't have to make since. I know similes have their place, but I often think they're just scared metaphors. Sorry, small rant. 

Also, if you long for his "silly mind" why is his love so clever? I don't know if you have a meaning behind that, but I found it contradictory. 

"And tickled forth your longing tongue"????? I don't quite know what to say for this... very awkward. 

But of course, I must point out that this was still a showcase that you have sincere talent that takes my breath away even while I'm being picky about each word. It's just because I see outrageous talent in you and I like to help out instead of just going on and on and on about how fabulous you are (which I could). ;)