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Poor Thunder

June 22, 2010
By Kbuschan PLATINUM, South Plainfield, New Jersey
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Kbuschan PLATINUM, South Plainfield, New Jersey
25 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall in love or fall in hate; Get inspired or be depressed; Ace a test or flunk a class; Make babies or make art; Speak the truth or lie and cheat; Dance on tables or sit in the corner; Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Breathe. And enjoy the ride...

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Taking up the sky
It roars
It begins to cry
Its soar
So it strikes at innocence
Its bored

Power of thunder
Never will it plunder
So many accidents past
How long will thunder's sadness last?

© Kat M., Rockville Centre, NY

The author's comments:
A thunderstorm is going on..so i thought id write about it
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

Garnet77 PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 7 2011 at 11:03 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything&#039;s a triangle.&quot; ~ My mother<br /> <br /> &quot;Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it&#039;s the easiest way to be heard.&quot;

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Very interesting word choice. I was kind of hearing thunder throughout this piece. Great imagery. :)
OriginalCarbonation GOLD said...
on Jan. 1 2011 at 9:45 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you&#039;ll live forever<br /> live as if you&#039;ll die tomorrow

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"how long will thunders sandness last"... thats hauntingly deep but yet also simple... wow
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 1 2011 at 1:18 am
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
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&quot;Don&#039;t punish yourself,&quot; she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing.&quot;<br /> --Markus Zusak, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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It really interested me when you said "So it strikes at innocence : Its bored." Again, I must mention punctuation. Apostrophes and also maybe a comma after 'innocence' and 'past' and maybe some other places. I'm so sorry if all this punctuation talk is making you bored, but it really really bugs me a lot that it isn't correctly punctuated. If you want people--well, me--to stop bugging you about it then you should stop bugging me with it. Even if it's not on purpose, please try and revise your work more thouroughly before posting it. This is a good poem though.