This is the fallout
the murder of a friend reminds
of evil, homicidal times-
Survive
on this white lie
and let her ease into my vacant place

I haste the day that promises
peace on pristine wings
to bring to light the spineless
in their sprint for borrowed binds
(and the worst of the bad mistakes I’ve yet to make
blaze behind the nailed-shut blinds).
Stand in shadows,
cast shamed eyes
to count the spiral cracks
and swallow

Oh, deceit
It tastes the same to troubled tongues
and everyone is fraught and thirsty
So who’s it gonna be, “best friend?”
I’ll pretend I stand a chance
but if it’s her word against mine,
don’t I win?
Don’t I?
Well, the difference all but drives
incisions through our picture-perfect, looks-can-be-misleading, morbid lives,
disguised,
disgust will spill my insides to the floor
to seep into the infinite-
this great dividing line
Defy
every secret in the making
and a few you took in gravest care
to share with her,
that’s fine…
This isn’t “farewell,” it’s “f*** you,”
so kiss this painful past goodbye

I saw you the other day and I,
well I had thought,
I still do think,
I taste betrayal on my teeth.
That cut me deep.
Keep telling me I mattered
Yeah, you’ll scream ’til you believe

Illusions
in the right light
will whisper pretty things
Like, “someone up there’s got a plan
for scum like you,
like me.”