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[clocks]
Look at the clock while you
Take this little journey.
For behind these doors,
Lie a mask for you to [hide] behind.
Oh, its a wonderland.
Just imagine it,
You can mold your body,
Heart,
And mind;
Into something new and different.
[And this is where you were lured.
The power of “want”
Duct taped over your love
For who you are.]
[?]
[No one will ever see
This side reflected.]
Welcome, darling,
To a world in which
Everything dies.
Watch, as you pass others;
Their eyes,
[Like darkened, blank windows]
Follow your figure
While you walk
Toward the darkness.
[And if there’s something wrong...
Who would have guessed it?]
Its a big world out there.
A place where
Obsessions cut you
So
d
e
e
p
Down,
Where there is
No such thing as
Angels.
Its a place where
Love dies
And from hollow chests,
You hear no heartbeats.
Emotions burn and
Turn to ashes here,
Don’t you know?
The silent fire burning within
Each and every one of us
Does not exist now.
Now what you have is a
Solitary
Darkness.
Empty crevices
And caves
Fill your chest
Instead of bright fire.
Now all you have left is
Something
Less
Than
Human.
Take a look for a second
At yourself my dear.
What do you see?
What can you remember of
The way you were?
You can’t remember
Who you were because
Entering this world changes you.
A smile turns into a scar,
The beauty molds into pain.
And finally you are left with
[A monster.]
A monster left of what
Used to be a little girl.
And by changing yourself
[You must stay that way.]
Be a big girl now [darling]
Because now your
Claws have lengthened,
Eyes have darkened...
Your tongue has grown [sharp] &&&how your words cut to the [bone.]
What would you call yourself?
[?]
I look at the clock
And I swear
[It hasn’t moved.]

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Why I am like I am.
Well. To explain a little. Not all of it though;;
Ever since I was young, I have wanted to be something other than what I am. No matter how I look, or dress, or tyr to act different, I am never satisfied. So ever since about sixth grade, I have been taking major measures to make sure that I change who I was. But changing was and isn't easy, especially so much, because I'm never satisfied.
So now we get to how I am right now.
This is what we end up with, after about 3 and a half years of changing. A cutter, depressed person, someone who is in denial, can't handle the truth, and writes sad poetry, sticks herself in a hole, likes to be sad, and obsesses over the smallest or stupidest things. Yeah, thats me. Sure I'm not ALL bad stuff, but mostly, this is who I am. I have never gone a day without feeling sad for some of it. And I have learned to deal. But it isn't easy.
Cutting became my constant, after so many changes I made to myself. Cutting was the only thing that didn't completely change, or lie to me or others.
Cutting was beautiful... for a while.
Until it became a ritual...
A ritual that my mere happiness or self control depended on.
Yeah.
Suggestions please?