I sit staring at myself, the real me.
I look so happy like a little child who has just received candy,
I knew what love felt like, trust was painted on my eyes as if they were a canvas.
Living in a blissful state where pain doesn’t exist, a modern day fairytale.

Just look at me!
My God what happened!
Ive become a monster, numb to feelings except one,
Pain, this anxiety in my mind laying dormant to stay forever.

The pain of not being myself is to much to bare, a relentless cross on my shoulder,
I just want myself back.
The real me who was capable of loving, how I want that pleasure again,
The ablitly to trust, but this world has ripped it from my tightly clenched hands.

I mean there I am right in front of me.
Im so close, but incredibly far at the same time.
I hesitantly begin to reach for myself, like a child does for his father
My index finger streaches out as far as it can go, almost breaking.

The real me starts weeping, begging for my touch like a dog,
It too strectches its finger out desperatly.
But then the real me vanished, like vapor in the wind,
Now im to stay in this world of anxiety, pain and fear.

A monster where these things are my god and ruler,
The real me gone forever locked away in this hell on earth.