Thinking, wondering, contemplating…
The stream of tears begged to flow-
But I protested,
Shoving the desire down my throat.

The trees rustled and creaked,
Showing their weakness to the bitter wind-
Which pushed and prodded through the silence.

My footsteps whispered and snickered as they shared
hidden kisses with the ground,
And goose bumps threatened my skin.

Searching in the vast, unforgiving darkness,
I didn’t dare surrender.
So why did I unconsciously tug at my white flag?

I tightened my jaw out of anguish
And clenched my frozen fists.
This was not the day to end it.

I swore to fight and suffer until it was over-
But my insides were dying,
Starving for “the before,” struggling with “the present.”

My mind was growing weary-
But their games did more damage.
The illusions made me believe that a light was shining,
That the fog had lifted,
That every wrong had been made right--

Until the darkness pulled me deeper,
Back into its hold;
Every speck of light- diminished,
The fog grew thicker,
And nothing in the word was, nor ever cold be
“right.”