The Moon and the Girl | Teen Ink

The Moon and the Girl

October 29, 2009
By FortuitousA SILVER, Cortez, Colorado
FortuitousA SILVER, Cortez, Colorado
5 articles 5 photos 5 comments

There is a little girl
on a boat to nowhere
She sails the long nights
and disappears during the day
The little girl
sings a lovely song
"When the day
goes to sleep
the moon takes
it's place
When the Sun
goes to sleep
I come out to play
With my dear
friend, the Moon,
we'll go to bed
not soon, not soon
but stay up
and play all
night but not
day."



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.


on Nov. 23 2009 at 12:00 am
FortuitousA SILVER, Cortez, Colorado
5 articles 5 photos 5 comments
Thank you for all your feedback. It's nice to have other people's opinions because they can be very beneficial to you. I'll take your advice into consideration. :]

on Nov. 22 2009 at 4:58 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

This is really original, I love the girl's song, and the beginning, but I think it ends rather abruptly. Perhaps you could add a little more to the end? Otherwise, it's beautiful!