I wish you were my teddy bear.

So when i drag you to Grandma’s house i can hold you when I’m homesick. Breathe you in for my smell of home. Squeeze you when things get to scary.

I wish you were my teddy bear.

So i can confide in you my deepest darkest secrets. Tell you my crush’s name. Just have you there for company.

I wish you were my teddy bear.

I wish you were there for me like he was. Always smiling and knowing just the right thing to do. Cuddle with me while i fall asleep. Be there for me when my dream turns into a nightmare. Soak up my tears and make everything okay. Be my happy place when my fears over power me.

I wish you were my teddy bear.

But then you couldn’t hug me back. You couldn’t tell me what to do in my times of need. Shelter me from everything my fragile mind won’t comprehend. Your heartbeat couldn’t be my lullaby. I couldn’t hold onto you for warmth. And you couldn’t kiss me…like you used to do; before you left. Before you stopped being there. And I had to turn back to my old teddy bear. The one with the bigger left black eye because the other one fell off. The one with the tear in the foot from when my dog got a hold of it. The one that still has that faint smell of home but only if you breath it in straight from the stomach. The one with the heart cushioned by the cotton stuffing that you could never seem to find no matter how much you squeezed and squished that bear.

The one you gave me on my sweet sixteen promising to always be there.

So I wish you were my teddy bear;; because he never leaves.