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When you were here
Your face is slate.
Your cracked skin was lost to the inferno
that I heard ravenously consumed you
over a dull landline at 9:42 AM.
Tears were masked by static.
My hands, smooth of pain,
shaved away against yours,
kissed with the many canyons and gorges of a ravine.
That day, the sun had come out.
I was told you only spoke at dawn when your skin was
golden, and you prayed.
It didn’t help, to me, at least.
Mornings weren’t the same, and nothing
was ever as bright.
You confused my hands for a servant’s
and held them stronger than I thought you
capable.
My chin was nestled in the nest that was your beard,
but I still felt your tears.
Lonesome strands of hair
clinging desperately to your dried, dilapidated scalp
were souvenirs of the time you lost
through drug testing and clinical trials.
There was no cure, and as payment, here you sat.
You must have been strong.
Curled in a chair, your tongue betrayed you.
But I still understood your futile attempts
at loving me.
When you left, I did not cry.
I didn’t know your
life, smile,
voice.
I didn’t remember the color of your eyes,
nor your gait.
To others, you were a saint,
father, uncle, commissioner,
family.
To me, a stranger,
legend and window obscured by
damp fog by the sea.
But again and again, over and over,
I lie awake, my eyes searching for yours
in a vortex of cloudy hopes and dreams, asking myself:
Who were you?
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This piece was dedicated to the memory of my late grandfather, who I never had the privilege of truly knowing. Despite hearing the stories my family members told of him, I never had a true connection to him when he passed away. What I do know, however, is that he loved me very much and was one of the kindest souls on the planet.