Dear Parents, I love you dearly but I have things I want to say…

I’m tired of being mandated into sports that benefit you more than me 

Pastimes that apply pressure on my pursuit of happiness 

Bringing no diamonds forth, just me longing to be free…

They say pressure formulates diamonds 

If that’s true then from you I’ve collected a treasure trove full of woe and despair 

Gold bars filled with misery and chests lined to the brim with ridicule

I hate...

feeling like the experimental child who was raised as a test run for my siblings

Poked and prodded with parenting styles until you found one that fit you 

Then switching it all up and acting brand-new

Calling your next kid your number 1 when he’s actually number 2  

 I am tired of getting reminded that I am not who I once was as a child

 That the bright smile once rising above the clouds has set in the west,

 my personality withering under the scorching sun of expectations …

I  am sick of being smothered with interrogations because you don’t trust me not to do drugs

I am sick of you being there physically but not emotionally for anything not sports-related

I am sick of having my siblings forced into my care even when inconvenient for me 

I am sick of you treating my siblings so differently than you did me as a child leaving me feeling unloved…

I am so weary from putting on a facade for them and you that I might as well be drugged…

Mom, I hate that anything said in confidence gets released to any family member I have

Dad, I am not okay, but I say I am because if I don’t you won't understand the problems I have

I try to voice my opinions to you,

 they vanish into the void 

Depleted of any virtues or meaning they had,

Vacuumed into the dormant volcano that sits heavy in my chest 

Silenced… from the fact that one slip could shake all the stability it holds close to its soul,

So it shackles my statements underneath its solidified stone base 

Instead of fighting I will suffocate in silence…

My story stifled by the author and illustrator

who won’t bother to publish it  

Because they have new stories they are actually proud of…

Dear parents, all I wanted was to be one of those stories…

The ones you share with your friends with a grin and a highlight on the page…

Not the one who has been involuntarily placed backstage 

I wouldn’t change you for the world…

The love is still present from me to you 

But I had to write it down 

So this time you couldn’t overlook my view