Grief ligers in my family like a shadow that stays after the person has left

Lingering and claiming territory of pain and suffer

Heartache and sorrow

Nothing can describe the deep heartrending things going on in my family

And the whys, what's and where's 

Everyone is asking why I'm never at school

Why are your grades bad?

As the morning rush for school, and mom was never here for tomorrow 

And i took siblings to school

I know, grades are bad and I'm fumbling class

But why get out of bed if moms not up cutting up my favorite fruit, a ruby red apple and juice dribbling down my chin

Summer mornings sweetest gift

But, i find myself with tears dripping down my cheek instead

The feeling why, why this new norm?

Why graduate? If mom won't be near 

The whys, what's and where's of grief being near

What's next, and what do i do

I just know doing this without mom will be something new

Flowers and gifts from door to door and family to family

The pain and heartache has marked its territory of my 4 siblings 

Teachers and friends passing by 

Wondering,

Where have you been? Why have you not been in class? And where's your work?

The questions roll on but do they understand this territorial pain that's embedded in my heart and brain?

I pray they don't because it's a pain I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy

But, I knew the answer to these why, what's and where's

It's because I knew grief was near