I sleep too much

Stay up a little too long

I don't go to bed until the clock next to my bed says 

In big, bold numbers

1:00

I know its 1 in the morning because of the dot that resides next to it

Nestled in between the border of the clock and the numbers and the bees

Staying up is bad for me

It's bad for anyone really 

Staying up can rot your mind

Its can let the parasites you fight everyday wiggle in your brain

Whisper things you wouldn't dare say in your ear

Not because of it being bad, per say

But because the nature of it would have people gaping at you

My thoughts are the loudest at 11 though. 

When everyone else is asleep but me and my little brother

When the only thing I can hear besides them is his tv

It's a dull buzz in the background of the beehive that is my brain

Every bee is busy trying to convince me of different things

They don't have to work much though

I already kinda know 

In a way I am aware 

I am aware that I am too loud

Too awkward

Too lazy

Too bitter

What am I not?

Every negative trait I think of can easily be applied to myself

The bees make their honey in my mind

They make my thoughts slow

They make my body lag

My feet drag

It feels as though I go through life coated in honey

Sometimes things just don’t reach where they should

They can’t get through the thick layer of honey

They can’t permeate it 

I’m starting to think that nothing can

That I will always be separated from the world

Stuck in my sweet prison 

Because people just don’t seem reachable anymore

My fingers get caught on their clothes

They look at me and my honey in disgust

Sometimes they do decide to notice me

To try and stay

But they get stuck

Like bugs in a trap

“You get more flies with honey than salt”

What happens when I am salt trapped in honey

When the bugs get sick of being stuck

When they try to escape me

When they realize I was never honey in the first place

I let the bees continue to make their hive in my mind

I get slower

Meaner

Saltier

But sweeter at the same time

I am so sweet just one touch could give you a cavity 

I am so sweet that you’ll never want to leave

I am so sweet that you’ll be confused how I was ever salt in the first place

Though you can see my exterior

You can see through the goop

But you choose to believe in my honey more

I silently beg

I plead through syrupy encased fingers 

Grasp at anyone and try my hardest to make them stick

Please 

Please just someone 

Anyone 

Please just free me

Because this honey is getting too heavy

And my body is getting too salty

And the bees are getting too loud

So loud 

And I am so lonely 

Because my honey isn’t making anyone stay anymore

Because somewhere along the way they learned

That I am not sweet

I am saline

I am radioactive 

And the only thing saving you from me

Is my honey.