Nights where I lie restless,

I turn and toss,

I can’t tell if I fear falling asleep or crave it.

My body dragging behind my mind,

 to fall asleep means I must face the dreams,

 the nightmares, 

All my fears,

played like a movie in my head,

I am bound to a theatre chair with chains tying me in,

chains weighed heavy, 

heavy with plates of  guilt, 

 when the movies are finally over a figure releases me,

the figure has no face or body 

a voice very familiar, 

this figure is my regret,

that whispers in my ear,

 “We could've been better.” 

Is this…….hell? 

The hell I've made for myself,

The punishment  for my wrongs, 

Wrongs made when I was too young to know right, 

The consequences for actions I've yet to take again,  

For the person, I will be and have been?

“We could've been better…..”