It hurt, seeing my sister being punished,

Any and all mistakes were acts of treason.

It was never like this before, 

Before I was born, nothing was bad.

Before these times, happiness and peace enveloped the air,

Life was good, rainbows and unicorns everywhere.

I could imagine the fun she had,

The perfect family of three,

The king, queen, and princess,

Of course the prince came in to ruin the moment

My upbringing brought pain to the family realm,

Suddenly shifting the mood,

Destroying the perfect world.

But what could I do? A baby with no control of his own actions

For some reason, I was safe

My poor elder sisters life,

Watching it crumble into a hellhole,

My parents wanted the best from her,
It seemed like only a demand for perfection, 

But only they asked for more.

The delusion lead to daily beatings, 

Almost like watching a show,

An endless cycle of misery,

Backed with meaningless blabbering of unrealistic expectations.

Witnessing countless things, I pondered.

“What was I doing?”

Of course there were lectures and beatings,

Still nothing compared to the extremes of before.

I wondered and wondered why

Why was I treated less cruelly?

Did they simply not care enough?

With no smarts nor talent,

It made no sense to let me be

Happiness was too much of an option

It might have been because of the guilt

The guilt of making my sister suffer so much

I kept wondering why she flourished in the fire,

While I crumbled at the slightest touch.

As life moved on, I realized the answer

Pure tradition was the reason for this.

I was an extra child, and the firstborn had passed,

Who was the only one with authentic Chinese parenting experience,

It was so obvious, yet hidden by the Americanized life we lived.

It made complete sense, but took so long to find.

With this knowledge, there was still nothing I could do.

I couldn’t go back, so there was no second chance.

But I learned to cherish these special moments,

Appreciating the happiness I was given,

I acknowledged the pain of jealousy,

Looking forward, excited for what's to come.