Dearest Miki, 

I decided to write a letter on the train after coming to the bitter realization that my passion for mathematics outweighs my love for you. 

I’ve decided to follow Dr. Conaway to Princeton. I know you had supported me when he offered originally and that I had originally denied the offer, but after speaking with him again I know this is what I need to do. 

I won’t pretend that I didn’t have time to come back because of the train or the weather.  I couldn’t watch as you refuse to leave your beloved home for me. I couldn’t have faced you at the door and I couldn’t watch as you struggled against your heart to eke out a smile and comforting words.

I love you and I know you love me. That's all we wanted. However, now I need more. I need you to wait for me. I need you to continue writing. Most of all I need to pursue my passion just as you have.

I’ll finish my PhD in 4 years and apply to teach at Chicago. It’ll take no longer than 5 years for our reunion. I love your neurons and I love your atoms. I love the good, the bad, the bursting, the empty. I love you whole, now and forever.

Yours,

No one else’s,

Lyn

Darling Lyn,

I’m glad you’re finally discovering your passions. I’m sorry that I’ve impeded you in the past, I simply couldn’t bear the thought of being away from you. I’d subconsciously blinded myself to your existential need. At first I felt that we arrived at a junction and you left me sleeping to board another train. However I’ve come to understand that you were never on the train to begin with. Simply following behind on horseback. I’ll await your return forever, so don’t rush your education for worry, but don’t dally as I miss you more with each passing day. I love your elegance and I love your wisdom. I love the good, the bad, the sparks and the mud. I love you whole, now and forever.

Yours alone,

Forever and always,

Miki.