I.
My stomach screams when I look at you
I think it's the dead butterflies
or maybe it's the scars
from where your filthy hands touched me

My fists shake when I talk to you
I think it's because while they no longer want to hold yours
they don't know what to do around you
or maybe it's the scars
from where your filthy hands touched me

II.
Loving you was a lie
all the 'i love yous'
and the last name high
all the 'i'd never hurt yous'
and the adrenaline high
Loving you was the ugliest lie
Everything that we shared
was a game of seeing how much we could care
and in the end,
it was never a game I wanted to win

Hating you was the opposite of sin
something holy, incarnate
the most beautiful crucifixion to ever exist
Hating you was letting the light in
Love and hate are
mirror images of the same game
but I never loved you like you loved me
You played me like a game
but it wasn't it me who won that game
cause you got attached
and I never cared quite at much as you