I opened my e-mail

Expecting to see,

A request for me

To work this summer.

After I read the first few words

I knew where it was going.

I kept reading, nonetheless,

Knowing my fate.

When I saw the word

“Unfortunately“

I broke down

Crying.

Home.

I don't get to go home.

This summer

Isn’t what I thought it would be.

I sob.

My hopes are crushed.

I scream.

My heart is broken.

There is a camp-shaped hole in my heart

That can only be filled by

The illuminated chapel

The Nikon camera

The St. Noel Basement

The heavy backpack

The late-night singing

The staying out after curfew

The laughter

The smiles

The tall trees

The Grotto

The chants

The songs

The campfires

The friends

The bows

The arrows

The food

The hikes

The Tuesday night game

The special units

The mini-camp

The traditional camp

The long-awaited marathon 

The arrowheads

The crafts

The canoes

The campers

The staff

The old dining hall

The late-night walks

The wake-up

The 5:45 duties

The nicknames

The weekends

The friendship

The bonds

The role models

The orientation

The overnights

The Thursday nights

The tight bonds

The goodbyes

..My heart hurts

And yearns for these things

This hole will always 

be in my heart

I can try to fill it

With the outdoors, friends, and laughter

But nothing will come close.

Nothing will be the same.

It’s not just a camp

It’s my home

Other people may call

A person or house their home

But mine is tucked back in the woods

At a certain camp that I love

This summer won’t be the same, 

But I’ll try to have fun

But I hope I can move on from this

Camp shaped hole in my heart