I.
i started wearing a jacket
my mom wore in high school
and I fell for a boy
14 days older than me
if this were a short story
ms. english would have us analyze it
and say it means something

II.
saying i love you is hard
but i write poetry with the pencil you gave me

III.
when my mom was mad at me
i was never allowed to eat dinner
stomach burning inside me
i learned to hide candy in my room
now that i'm a little taller
i can't eat real food unless
someone loves me
but i can always taste a twix
and i have rice krispies
hidden under my pillow

IV.
can the stars align this time?
i am tired in the pit of my stomach
october is over
and i am falling like the leaves
in love
or in a spiral?
i'll tell you in december

V.
if loving me is hard,
don't do it.
we all know i'm afraid of change
almost as much as
i'm scared of being a burden
if loving me is hard,
tell me what to change
we all know i love you more
than i fear change

VI.
three words said right before the blade swings
before a fight
before goodbye
before you die
before the letter ends
before goodnight
so you'll understand why
the words are slow to leave my mouth

VII.
What is/are your goal(s) after high school?
i don't have any
What about your dream(s)?
i don't see myself making it that far
Of course you'll graduate. You're first in your class.
that's not what i meant. of course i'll graduate. i just won't make it any further.
You can get into any college you apply to.
i'm not applying
Oh, a trade school? You can make good money.
i don't care about the money
You're so right! Following your dreams, eh?
i already said i don't see myself making it that far
I don't understand
i'm not making it past high school
Everyone grows up at some point.
not dead girls.

VII.
the only boy
who ever told me he loved me
left me with the taste of pepsi stuck to my tongue
and blood between his teeth
when he said goodbye