I long to disappear into the throes of the night

Through the portal of my window, 

Only I must get through the complicated security of my home

I long to sit under a sheet of stars

Holding a hand in yours 

While our lips collide,

Only I must watch you become someone else world

I long to raise my hands against the backdrop of a sunset driving a million kilometres an hour

Only I must hide away when the golden hour breaks

I long to throw myself into the loud underbelly of a rebellious celebration

Only I have no one to recognize there

I long for a day to sit around with my chosen family

And talk about nothing and everything 

Only we live far enough to need to plan

I long for indescribable background music to play in my epic moments

Only I have so few

My youth is supposed to be defined by moments

But what if I cannot have them the way I want to?