When I was only
seven years old and
still sure I'd grow up
and not take my own life
back up against my bedroom door
tears streaming
skin stinging
ears ringing
I WILL BE KINDER

I should've known of course:
fathers and sons are wretched
mirrors of each other
(What is it like to look
at your father's anger and
know it is not your own?
To just be terrified and
not see the same in your own eyes?)

I should've known of course:
fathers and sons are terrible
tragedies in technicolor
(The father uses his anger
to try and make the son better
than him but all the son learns
is the anger)

The blood on my knuckles is
no longer my own and
I used to be scared of my
father's fists, now I'm scared of
my own

I swore I'd be kinder
I think I'll be worse
The son is the father
the father
the son