You taught me the term
"Religious Trauma"
but it's not quite that -
It's the pain of your
mother being a preacher,
and of your grandma,
your grandpa,
your uncle and your mom
being preachers.

I wasn't even in school yet
when I first heard
the story of Isaac
and his father.
My own mom taught it to me, and
taught the other Sunday Schoolers
it as well as I.

The moment she said,
"Abraham would have
sacrificed Isaac
if God hadn't stopped him."
I felt for sure,
my four year old self
knew his mom would not say
Abraham was right.

But she did.

My whole childhood,
My family's love meant nothing
next to God's will,
and when I wandered off
the well beaten track,
they called me a trannie and never looked
back.
A lost son is called a prodigal.
A lost daughter is just
lost.