i think of flying and succeeding.
i think of failing and falling
into the deep hole of darkness
of disaster
of disappoitment
of depression
and i let it fester up inside me
and i hold it back,
because no one can know
of all the dark, cruel thoughts that haunt my brain

i wish i could have the eyesight to see the light at the end of the tunnel
but i can't seem to find my glasses
and my contacts have all but disappeared
and im alone

or at least i feel that way
because ill go out
and see my friends
bouncing and bubbling with joy
with excitement
with happiness
and ill laugh
and joke
and be with them
but only in entity

because i am a fake
pretending to be in the moment
pretending im having fun
until im not
but i can only hold my smile