April

For four months I haven't recognized the reflection in the mirror

I don't know who I am, I don't know what to wear

And when i'm asked how i'm doing I go into a blank stare

To hurt so deeply you think your dying

For four months I have lost focus

Am I even trying?

Dropped everything important

And pushed good people away

Its guilt, what i'm feeling

Regret, leaving

The world went black and white

Beautiful things don't catch my eye

I don't see color

I've made mistakes I know I was wrong

But I will not stay in a place I don't belong

My mind has become all anxiety

4am wake and i'm out again 

For four months at 4am