Sometimes I slide the silver over my thigh

And then I feel alright.

Lines of red dotting out and spilling down.

And I feel alright.

But it’s just a moment or two where

The sadness or the numbness slips away.

And I feel alright

It takes my mind off of everything hurting me emotionally for a day or two

Because every time a sibling or a friend sits on my lap being playful, 

I feel the lines opening again.

And then I don’t feel so great anymore.

But at least the other thoughts are gone,

The ones telling me to just walk or maybe sprint into traffic.

When those thoughts come I don’t feel so okay 

So I take the silver blade once again, sliding it across

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 … 18 times

And then I feel alright 

Just for a moment.