The ocean is dead  

While I write my sonnets in peace

Listening to the broken vinyl as they played the hit 90s

The seagulls are singing their songs

Of despair

We are the souls of widows

whose loved ones

Were sent off to the devastating tragedy of war

I am Amphitrite

I… I collide into the pushing waves of 

Tears that begin to flood me

 Trying to fit into this high society   

Changing myself and my morbid appearances-

Short, black hair 

Of a tomboy

Millions of fuming red dots

Sailing across my forehead 

All whispered out of synch

In our own harmonious thunderstorm

That we all clamorously contributed in  

Life’s most nuisance chamber

We sinked so deeply, so tragically in this boat of depression

And we were all so close

Right about to cross the finish line

But then life hit us all with a sudden strike of lightning

Knocking our gleeful boat over,

Sinking it 

Deep     

Deep

Deep 

In a cataclysmic, monotone manner

Plummeting into the depths

Of the Mariana Trench

It’s waves bound to crash in Heaven’s way

We never made it across to our island of joy

But then,

A larger ship came over

One that was made of steel 

Sturdy and robust

That was going to save all of us

From drowning into the depths of

The disconsolate hours of  

Mourning over our anguished omissions

 In the ship, there were plastic dolls and

Handsome men and overused cardigans that were

 Girls that were played by the gamble of love

 You had to be appealing, 

Skinny, and cool

 In order to be admitted into the popular

Mean girl clique

We all wanted in

And we all

Desperately tried to change ourselves

From our looks

To our personalities

 Nice, good girls

Transformed into 

Sinister devils

Just to become “one of them”

Going on strict mediterranean diets

So we could fit into a size 2

 And maybe get boyfriends, too 

             Long-lost Love

Life could go on and on and on

Like the merry go round that it is

But you were the only one that I adored

 Out of all the charming, foolish sailors

 But then it was too late

And I was back in the emptiness of rain and sleet through

Thunder and hail

Love could be our weakness

Against the substandard of the world

But we will not let it break us apart

For we are strong like glass

We are the mirrors inside the house

With no mirrors

To stare at our demolished reflections

of our haunted past

The ghost of our guilt

The dreary future

We still familiarize ourselves with

But couldn’t seem to fathom

nor relive

the nightmares, nostalgic recollections,

And evocative memories

 Of a life well-lived

As we drowned inside our regrets

Not knowing when we will float or sink

In the unclear, murky waters

That wouldn’t wash away 

             Her

No matter how hard I tried

To become your “perfect girl”

You still loved her

She was your precious treasure

One of a kind

A vintage 90s doll

She stepped right out of a 

 Playboy magazine

Her hands were in 

your dirty blond hair

And you loved her wild

 And crazy

Carefree and greedy

She smooched your lips

And kissed them guiltily 

She was hungry for your love

But she played hard to get

She might be a rose

In a single glass vase

She might have a perfect

Skinny body with a pretty face

She looks like she’s from

An ancient, renaissance painting

An attractive nymph

That was found in 

The ravishing, lush forests

Her friends are probably 

Ones that own private jets and Victorian mansions 

They shop every week at Gucci and those

Luxurious brands that only their rich dads could afford

And when they are on vacation,

They would fly to Malibu 

Eating at deluxe restaurants

Hosting private VIP parties

With their smeared, fake smiles

And their post plastic surgery faces

            Sunflower

But I’m a sunflower

Not the least glamorous

Not gorgeous nor skinny

In fact 

My body is

An arcadia of wonders

If I was a rose, maybe you’d want me

When we were younger

We used to hangout all the time

Sneaking into each other’s windows at night

sipping hot cocoa

While binging tv

Telling each other secrets

That we would tell no one else    

I loved you like the sun loved the moon

We could dance til we die 

 You’re as dreamy as the stars in the sky

 I could melt in your sun kissed skin

As you kissed me with those 

Tender, soft lips of yours

Near the very end of the ocean’s cove

We had observed the beautiful sunset 

That slowly disappeared behind the mountains

I could write a thousand love poems

And still, every one of them

could be about you

             In Love with a Fantasy

I see you everywhere

In my dreams,

We are together

Little fires 

That danced the whole night away

Inseparable souls searching for 

One another

In school, you are the doodles

That I never finished drawing

In life, you are the other half unfilled

You’re not just special,

You’re a limited edition

A present full of surprises

You’re my cherry blossom

High up perched in your

Lonely, sycamore tree

You’re my angel that fell

From Heaven

Your wings so magically uplifting

As you carried that extra burden

And weight of living

I… I collide into the forever

Sadness that drains me

Into the forgotten yesterdays and 

The never tomorrows

I tried to clutch onto all of life’s blessings

Before I neared my ending

But it was hard to let go of the sorrowful past 

The one I lost

And it couldn’t be found

As you drew stars around my scars

But now I’m bleeding

I thought you were “the one” 

But you had left me like the others

Your so-called, “business trips”

Were actual romantic affairs with her

As the sea called my name once, again

Telling me it was time to

Leave this small island of depression

And venture out mature in

to the real world

Where happiness is valued

Greatness is guaranteed

And the ship has finally sailed