I was fifteen in this photo,

a British transplant.

I am with my sister at a random Walmart.

My sister stands there

with her giant reindeer mask,

flaunting it to the shoppers around her.

The dark, blacked out eyes on the mask

disturbs the already eerie feel to the picture.

I stand to the left,

A large Santa hat bigger than my head

sags to my shoulders.

I’m throwing up an awkward peace sign.

I remember me and my sister

Actually getting along.

I remember the

the s**t we were going through

bit by bit, trying  

to put our lives back together.

I remember the feeling of doubt,

the feeling of hoping things

get better with time but

but seeing no light

at the end of the tunnel.