My mom can’t help

being basically deaf

Our conversations always start sweet and soft

Like a light morning breeze

My mom doesn’t quite catch everything

but she tries.

She is a detective trying her best to hear the whole story

Even though all she can hear are muffled words

Birds sounding like ringtones

Silence is like a plane taking off in her head

The noise overtaking my voice

The one she wants to hear the most.

We do know a few words in sign language!

The most meaningful:

I love you.

A daily routine we have

When she drops me off at school I sign it to her.

It means a lot to us and even when she can’t hear me

She understands that one word

Forever and always

Although sometimes we struggle

Like falling off a horse and never wanting to get back on

Our conversation no longer welcoming

Our words change so easily from sweet to bitter in a matter of seconds.

Although, every time we try again.

Knowing there is nothing that we cannot

Conquer together

Other times we play charades

When her cochlear implants come off.

Me explaining my day in various movements

Desperate,

Trying to reach her.

Her attempting to depict them and read my lips.

Sometimes we feel like a winning team at the end

And other times I just want to give up and go to sleep

I feel as though I’m her interpreter most times.

Always on the job, never a break

Repeating every word

Repeating every total

Repeating my words

Repeating life.

I feel lonely sometimes because our conversations are so hard

I don’t even want to talk.

Sick of repeating

Done with charades

Voice falling silent

Sometimes I wonder if

Love is enough

Then I remember it's, my mom

She has done everything she can to give me the best life

I can’t just give up on her when she needs me the most

Selective silence isn’t an option

I love her

And

She loves me

That’s all that really matters