My world is cold and built with walls.

Monochromatic.

I don’t believe that is what I had wanted.

I stood at the entrance of high school,

Expecting something more.

“We’ll help you with that dear,” said the school counselor with her fake smile.

How can she say that and not mean it?

Bully free zone my a**.

How do the teachers not hear what we are saying, are we underwater screaming for a world most of us could never touch?

Reaching upward for hope, most of us will never get out of that water.

Those who stay.. are most likely to become some of the approximately 123 Americans that die from suicide in one day.

85% of every adult 18+ has attempted or thought of suicide at least once.

Do you know why that is?

It’s because from a young age, and especially in middle school and high school, the ones who tore us down when we were still trying to sew ourselves together from last time didn’t get punished at all or got just a slap on the wrist.

If someone has bullied one person they are sure to be bullying more than just the one that came forward.

One particular teacher in my own school, bullied the special kid in our class in front of everyone and thought she could get away with it. Well she did.

None of us liked the special kid but it got to the point where the entire class was defending him.

That woman still teaches at this school.

How can they stand by when they can see the ocean of which we came or which we are in?

This is why I froze my heart, why very few are allowed in.

Why it takes me so long to open up truly to someone.

Why I shove my feelings in a bottle and swallow it whole wearing a mask and telling lies

I’m fine.