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perfect
emotions
are such shifty
things, dangerous desires engulfing their
rationality and so i
being the epitome of dignity
the citizen of consummate civility
suffocate them in satin robes of
mindless
control, and so i
shall ascend to the cold perfection
of the immortal deities
no
i am a mere
wreck, a wretched
soul so afraid of
emotion, of the very essence of human
delight
nothing more
than a robot painted with too much
cosmetics whose affection is but
skin-deep and still my afflicted
mind is hailed as flawless by the sinister
devils nestling within me
but if i were perfect, my heart would not unfreeze
on the way to school
become human, flesh, bone for one lovely
moment before giving a sob
of anguish and splattering on the sidewalk
for what could ever love
an android that treats people like yellowed
bird bones in a museum,
reeking of death.
because if i were perfect, girls would
not be porcelain vases, my words
erratic hammers, my speech
incoherent mumblings, normal conversation
a deafening crossfire peppering my self-esteem
with holes, and writing the single bubbling brook
carrying my thoughts into the indifferent
world beyond,
a brook soon to be dammed by the diseases within
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Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) forces a person to strive for the highest level of perfection, which can lead to limited emotional expression and other symptoms.