to the boy who never really loved me | Teen Ink

to the boy who never really loved me

October 30, 2018
By leximay_ BRONZE, Hartland, Wisconsin
leximay_ BRONZE, Hartland, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

My finger hovers over the unblock button

I know it’d be the right thing to do

Cause all he does is hurt me

Cause all he does is use me

And I know it

So why can’t I just press it

He’s killing me slowly every day

From the dirty looks in the hall

To the way he makes me feel so special one night

And then pushes me to the side that I’m nothing the next

I’ve given him so much

And he gives me so little

I know that letting go will hurt

But letting him stay is only hurting me worse

So why can I just let go

Leave him

Get him out of my life

He's toxic for me

Thoughts of him constantly running laps around my head

My heart tightens every time I hear his name

I love him even though I should hate him

There is a certain pain that hurts worse than any other

The pain of endlessly loving someone you know will never love you back

Sometimes he blocks me and it feels like I've lost something

Someone

Who wasn't even mine ….

I can't just let go

I've put so much of my time into one person

Although I get nothing in return

I can say all these bad things about him

Yet, I still come crawling back anytime he wants me

I'm wrapped around his finger

That is exactly how he wants it

I don't want to feel like this anymore

Showing him all of me

Only to get left on read

Hurting me once again

To spend endless nights crying myself to sleep

All Because of Him

He's ruined the way I think

The way I feel

Anytime he's around me I’m filled with a sense of panic

And I can't stop myself

I just want to run into the bathroom and cry

But even if I tried I know that no tears would come out

And I would just sit and stare

As I feel myself slowly break

Into a million pieces



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