I’ve been hurt by the same person more than 6 times but only because I’d let them again one more time

I swore to her and myself one last time and I’d never let you into my life again
No matter how much you were to beg, I would’ve followed that rule myself but I just couldn’t do it, I had to let you another time

I thought I was doing it for the happiness she gives off but the pain is all I’ll be able to remember in 10-20 years

The more I let her in, the more she distances herself, at first it was like a knife in her hand stabbing my heart and then it was knife a foot pole stabbing me in the heart and foot by foot, it got to be a whole football field, now it’s a knife somehow reaching me from 5 football fields away

You see it’s like pain hates to make the same thing over and over
It likes to make a persons suffering unique so when you try to say, “you can talk to me, I’ll understand”, you really won’t — no scratch that — you really don’t because you don’t even understand me

Anxiety rips me off my humanity