it seems that out of battle i escaped,

& you see me alone tonight.

my fingers curl in on themselves as if i might fall 

apart in an instant—as if

this feeling would flee from me that quickly.

this desire to hold onto what i can’t control

this feeling that i might not be the one

falling

consumes me, this night.

it drowns me, leaving me choking on the deadly

oxygen that is a dream.

to hold onto everything that i can’t obtain

is what tears me apart

below the surface.

& the darkness of it all once again consumes me

& the stars, glittering, bask in all

their beauty.

this is process of

learning how to forget what my body won’t lrt me.