In My Head | Teen Ink

In My Head

October 29, 2020
By LillyCloud BRONZE, Whitehall, Michigan
LillyCloud BRONZE, Whitehall, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Trapped by these four walls I call home

Trapped in this coffin I call my bed

Trapped in this body I call my own

When I'm alone I get so caught up in my head

 My inner demons that always win

Scars on my wrist to mark my lost battles

The sinks stained in crimson blood

I lick my wounds as I start to unravel 


The voices are so loud

The scars are so proud

Scarcely my phone buzzes from friends

As they ask how I've been

I don't reply scared of what they'll say

When trapped in the darkness I'm in

I reach to reply but my arms throb

As  a reminder to never speak of the darkness I’m in

The ice-cold clutches grip me for the final time

As I make my way to the sink once again 

My true friends are the demons in my head

Only they know I’m hanging by a thread

I lie here on the floor surrounded by a bed of blood

through my haziness the phone starts to light up as it slips out my hands

  A flood of emotion crashes over me as I look at the name 

I see my mother's message asking “how are you” but I let it stand

The voices are getting louder 

The scars are getting prouder

Realizing my demons were not my friends but enemies all along

I gather my remaining strength and reply with “help” regretting my decision 

Exhaustion grips me but now I see clearly what I have let them do to me

I lay motionless on the cold floor hoping my words rose suspicion

As I drift off to sleep never to open them again

The noise of distant sirens quickly fade with my consciousness

An already sobbing mother burst through the door as she finds it too late

Her precious daughter lie on the floor as she embraces her with tender aloofness                                          

The voices are now silent 

But the scars are so violent

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This article has 4 comments.

on Feb. 1 2022 at 1:35 pm
AztroWorkz BRONZE, Bellingham, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 23 comments
This is incredible! The way the poem flows is immaculate, and its overall story is sad, yet gripping. I hope that you'll be able to get through the tough times you're facing. Remember that though it may not feel like it, you're loved and valued.

on Oct. 13 2021 at 10:47 pm
francezfeelz BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
4 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, you say "it is what it is" and move on - Jake Duncan (a best friend who I won't forget and I can't wait to reconnect with so if you're out there I hope you're ok <3 ily)

@LillyCloud thank you for this poem, in this battle I don't feel that alone and I hope that one day once I learn to lose battles without leaving a mark I can mark my arm with a butterfly tattoo to cover the scars :)

Lida28 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 9 2021 at 12:58 pm
Lida28 BRONZE, Thessaloniki, Other
2 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
Respect your mothers, everyone.

Hey,your poem is amazing!!So touching....

on Jan. 26 2021 at 3:48 am
Pravartika_23 BRONZE, New Delhi, Other
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Hey, I absolutely love your poem! The metaphors you’ve used and the analogies you’ve drawn are so deep. The words are just hard-hitting! But I do hope that you’ve overpowered your demons... they’re nasty, and everyone has them so it’s nothing you need to feel guilty about. It’s so amazing and inspiring that you’re using poetry to deal with your feelings. I know most people feel that it’s good to talk to someone you’re close to when you’re down, but at times, I too feel that there’s no one I can truly trust. I just confide in my diary or in poetry then. Strangely, if you truly believe in poetry, you always get an answer to your questions.
P.S.: The voices and the scars? Oh goodness! I love how you’ve portrayed the voices in your head and related them to the entire ‘violent’ world inside your head!