Night is heavy-
It ties her down with smothering blankets
They are not comforting;
they are the shrouds of depression.
They hold her to the bed for hours on end
Where she lies, trapped with the demons inside of her head.
They hold her hostage; not allowing her to enter the haven of sleep
So she tries her best to distract herself from the monsters that creep
Not underneath her bed- but underneath her chest.
She knows she could move if she wanted to
But the trouble is, it's hard to feel desire for anything when you feel so much like nothing.
The night is long
And when she finally sleeps, it's not enough.

Morning is heavy-
It wakes her with the shrill alarms of hopelessness
That have no snooze button.
No pause to catch her breath, so she limps along
Through empty streets named loneliness
And all the while she can't breathe; she has misplaced her inhaler.
There's a demon sitting on her lung,
And it's slowly killing her.
Short, gasping breaths
Hardly better than death
Are never enough.

Her scars are heavy-
They keep her trapped in her despair
They are a tally of all the times the loneliness became too much to bear.
The funny thing is, when she made those scars,
She didn't seem to care.
Her mouth was silent, her eyes were dry
In fact, tears have become rare
But pain has not.
And the medicines (all self-prescribed) have one-by-one refused to work,
And she's become addicted to the painkillers that make her pain worse.
Antidepressants
Made from a recipe of isolation
And antibodies trained to kill any traces of happiness.
The medicine is a rope.

And the rope is heavy-
It's not the sort of rope that pulls you safely to shore
No, this rope is in the hands of the devil himself
And it's tied around her neck like a leash
As he leads her through hell
Giving her the VIP tour.
He's ready to pull the noose tight
The moment she says yes.
The remnants of hope have kept her from giving in for this long
But when the tour is over, and all goes wrong
And the question lingers, and the scars burn.
And she's limping and bleeding
And barely breathing
And so alone that she can't remember
What it's like to feel loved
Will the remnants of hope
Be enough?