I felt a funeral in my brain, before it even happened

I knew it was going to eventually come, but not this soon

The smell of dead, rotting flesh… before she was even dead

I felt a funeral in my brain, before it even happened

I saw it coming, in the back of my head

Mourners sitting down, silent, waiting for what is to come

I felt a funeral in brain, before it even happened

Lying down in the bed looking as if her neck was snapped like a stick, but it wasn’t

Old swing music playing from the depths of the room

I felt a funeral in my brain, before it even happened

A small blur on the CAT scan the first time, the second time it was a tumor

The sound of a slowly beeping heart monitor, that wasn’t even there

I felt a funeral in my brain, before it even happened

The constant flow of strangers in and out of the house

Warm, bony hands gripping, not wanting to let go

I felt a funeral in my brain, before it even happened

Endless cards from old friends lined up on the windowsill

The occasional nurse visits, and hushed whispers about what is to come

I felt a funeral in my brain, before it even happened

Vibrant flower arrangements reminding people of the person she once was

I felt a funeral in my brain, then realized I was at one