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Storm

March 28, 2010
By JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND, Westerlo, New York
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JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND, Westerlo, New York
61 articles 36 photos 216 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not"
"Somewhere betweeen us talking, you saying I deserve better, and you making me laugh when I wanted to cry, I fell in love with you."

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Lighting flashes in the night
Thunder claps with such might
The sky pours rain never ending
Is storm a message God is sending
Is he trying to make things pure again
Is He hoping this earth will mend
Does he want complete renewal
Because each one of us is his precious jewel
Are the raindrops the Lords tears
All bottled up over the years
Is he crying because
We’ve messed up and now heaven above
Needs to make it clean again
Is rain Gods way to make things mend

© Steve S., Marblehead, MA

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This article has 2 comments.

JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 4 2010 at 5:39 pm
JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND, Westerlo, New York
61 articles 36 photos 216 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not"
"Somewhere betweeen us talking, you saying I deserve better, and you making me laugh when I wanted to cry, I fell in love with you."

View profile
Thank you for your comment. I'll add more punctuation in the future. The other part is a typo. I should have had another line after that...my bad. Thanks again.
katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 4 2010 at 2:07 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

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I liked this, but you should really add some punctuation.  It's a little difficult to read without it.  Then, for me, the only thing that sounded awkward were the two lines- "Is he crying because we've messed up and now heaven above....."  I think you should seperate those, so it flows better with the end of the poem and so you can stick with your rhyming scheme.  All in all it was a very touching poem.  Great job!