I spent

So many hours

With you glued to my face

That when you left, all i could hear was the silence

It rushed in into

The places you had suddenly filled with

Hysterical stories of death

And groceries stores



And being trapped in the freezer

beside the milk

and her face that looks in

at us trapped

together

stuck together

just

together

talking



And we talked about the epic hug fight

In which

I roll down

down

down

onto the highway

and into the ditch

beside a fence

and a field

and a boatload of conversations



about hermits

that live together

defeating the purpose

and the dead bodies under my bed

some of which aren’t actually dead

just.

there

inside the boat we will share



when we are out of college

and away

away from them

the world

and scary fathers with shot guns

he says im sorry

and after im done saying that’s ok daddy,

I walk away

And disturb you in your dreams



About this screwed up world

And the screwed up songs

Of singing faces that you give to me

About singing faces

That disappears

Every time you leave

To run



Those ten feet

So that I can

Listen

To the beat

Beat

beat

of your heart

under the t shirt



t shirt that you send me

in a bubble envelope

that I place

beside my face

and pretend

just pretend

that you are here

here with me



with me in that dark

under the set piece

in which we were caught

and our respect questioned

until im sorry

turns to Polaroid

and I am

forced to just

say thankyou

thankyou

while you say

I love you

I love you



I love you nonexistent hair

That you had cut off

By your sister

Who gets you

Drunk

On coke, and oh yeah

Rum

Until you ask me politely

To sit on you



And you sing about rum and Caribou Lou

On the phone with Jessica

For 2 hours

We watch pieces of shiny toy guns

Shooting up the ting tings

And mgmt

Singing songs about living the dream

And the way the killers

Stole the sound of modest mouse

And we deny



Deny to him

What happened

Until I explain

My fears

That are

Lastly nonexistent

Of him



And his way that

He pulls me in

Right off my feet

Into a

Gdfbb day

In which I run

Run run

Away

Into his apologetic

World.

Of I’m sorrys

I love you’s

Screaming futons

And the death of pillows

And

Thakyou’s

When I’m sorry isn’t enough

And the small

voice

That calls at midnight

And is shut

Out.

By my fathers loud hello

Good bye

Then



Click



Then no longer

you glued to my face

That when you left, all i could hear was the silence

It rushed in into

The places you had suddenly filled with



What will be.

For now.

For then

For

Main and new England

Heres to

Canadian death race

And running across the grand canyon

And

All the ands

That are to come



Finally

It’s the quiet

Of the ache

Of what you did to me

And the ache

Of what I am waiting for