Now... I breathe the air of the present, the air that I will never breathe twice in the same way, the breeze blows here with no intention of stopping, I feel the grass that used to tickle the skin on my arms now act as a mattress for my body. I open my eyes and see the day, today and now, the beautiful sun as it always sets on the distant horizon, I stretch my arms feeling what I can feel. I wanted to keep that day in my pocket so I would never forget it like I’d forgotten most other days.

But for now, all I can do is capture a fracture of the beauty of this moment. Writing it.

The sun paints the sky with its water-like color, spreading through it as if the creator of today’s canvas smeared it with his big golden brush and in a horizontal line swiped the orange marigold color evenly across the gradient blue canvas. 

That description is still not enough, I wish to paint this as it is, the exact way I see it, with my perspective and biases towards it.

I am here to get away from everything that exists behind my back, to turn away from the world I wrote to but never wrote back to me, and face Mother Nature who even in silence replied in the constant sound of the breeze, that I can’t see but feel its presence the most of all things she holds, in the sigh of the ladybug who crawls up on me, in the grass that once stung feel comforting now, as I with great shame ask if I can take shelter under her tree. 

A yell of my name from inside the house calls.

The fantasy dies

The moment ceases   to

Exist. I return