Pandemonium | Teen Ink


June 19, 2009
By write4life GOLD, Macon, Georgia
write4life GOLD, Macon, Georgia
12 articles 0 photos 45 comments

restless, sleepless in my bed; thoughts of you fill my head
i’ve lost my focus, but can’t
all the cruel things that you said
in a dreamland, but still awake; those memories i just can’t shake
always there, but never seen; tell me, could this be a dream?

my mind is racing; i am chasing, searching for the truth, but it’s
evading me
slowly fading, heart is breaking; did you mean what you were saying?
it hurts so much i’m going crazy; all that’s happened makes me angry
i’m falling now, i’m fading faster; help me heal my heart’s

something’s missing, something’s broken; i’m so filled with words
help me now; show me the way; turn my darkness into day

now i’ve built a wall around me; you try so hard, but you can’t
bring me down

all this chaos deep inside is so confusing; all your lies
made me afraid, and now i fear all the ones i once held dear
scared to let them see inside, who i am deep inside my mind

got to be another way;
turn my darkness into day
someone show me, be my guide; help me find myself inside

The author's comments:
this was actually written to be a song, so some of the words (especially I'm, I've, etc.) were added to help the reader understand it better as a poem.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Aug. 23 2009 at 6:29 pm
Hope_Princess BRONZE, Hebron, New Hampshire
4 articles 4 photos 376 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."

This is awesome and I wish I could hear it put to music. Great job and keep it up! Keep writing!

on Jul. 1 2009 at 10:23 pm
EleanorRigby PLATINUM, New York City, New York
28 articles 3 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The optomist proclaims we live in the best of worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell

this is really good! you asked me for suggestions, but i think you already have talent. if anything, i was going to day that personally, i always make an emphasis on where i end my lines in poetry, because i think it creates a good effect in terms of the power and emotions of certain words, and also the beat of the poem. it looks like youve already got that down tho. also, word choice is so important, and people may say that all the time but not many actually listen. try to replace common words with ones that sound more sophisticated and well-thought, and also they sound more melodical in my opiniion. however, it's very difficult to make those words sound natural and flowing in your work. youre doing a great job!