I am you. | Teen Ink

I am you.

February 19, 2019
By caitlinbeplate BRONZE, Montpellier, Other
caitlinbeplate BRONZE, Montpellier, Other
2 articles 1 photo 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


Grey clouds, grey trains
Endless tears, endless rain
Birds in flight up in the sky
Man in flight, she waves goodbye.

Cold day, warm bed
Fish are swimming in her head
The pain is leaking through her eyes
Another fragment slowly dies.

A little older and it’s her turn
A little colder but still it burns
Push it down don’t let it show
Nobody must ever know.

Protective figure, figure of fear
Figure of speech, her figure is near
Consternation keeps her thoughts straight
A broken mind from an unbroken wait.

They break the silence with a whisper
A sharp knife is enough to whisk her
Away from everything, away from joy
They stab her heart as they would a toy.

Naked light on her naked frame
The ravening darkness she fights in vain
Feeds off her, chews on her insides
Neglected, fading: she chooses to hide


What is childhood?
Childhood is not innocence.
Childhood is not innocence, for innocence
Is the absence of evil and pain,
Any child who’s survived childhood will for evermore divine bane.

Childhood is not freedom.
Childhood is not freedom, for freedom
Is a confinement we create ourselves to feel safe,
Childhood is not a borstal, but a realm where each child is a waif.

Childhood is not an an achievement.
Childhood is not an achievement, for an achievement
Fills you with a sense of purpose fulfilled,
Childhood unmercifully drains you; empty, I am ready to be filled.

So what is childhood?

Childhood is children.
Childhood is children for childhood is sorrow,
As are the children who feel it.
Childhood is also a bright unique joy,
As are the children who feel it.

I feel the grief as I feel the shine,
As do all these pained radiant siblings of mine.
Their faces beaming, my spirit’s dreaming,
My heart is screaming:
Bursting, as childhood rips its seams
Nothing here is what it seems.

Childhood is the one who raised me
Through our shared adventures he razed me
Just to build me up again
Into the person you now today see.

He will always be a part of me,
Just as grass will always be a part of Earth
Until it slowly dies, along with I
And he
And all his mirth,

And it is while- still living in that bubble-
I’m stumbling along on the uncut stubble
Of grass like the peeping ghosts of children buried hundreds of years before
Or more

That I realize :
These souls could not be suppressed by this sod,
For the soft soil could not suppress all these souls,
Just as I could not suppress him.

I start to forget him.
First his welcoming touch, next his sweet, sweet smile
Then his sweet smell, and all of this while
I am forced to quell
The flurry of thoughts barricading my mind
Only a few are left behind.

And when I thought he was finally gone
He’s back.
Haunting me, like the infinite tiny phantoms
So now, a thousand colours of infancy
Burst through the cracks
That have scarred me with time

Don't step on these cracks
Don't fear him afresh,
For now he is in chime
With you.

We are presently as one
For now and forever,
Two sinking souls in a sea of suns
Nothing now has yet begun.


I was afraid of him, my childhood, long before
That is no longer the case any more,
For now a greater fear
Eats me up; I taste its treacly flavour:
It is near.

Too big, too bad to address
Too wired, too watchful to vanquish
Too dark, too daunting too let rest
Only here to fill me with anguish.

And as the shadowy voiced echoed out behind me
Drawing me back,
I turned around; my heart furiously speeding,
My entire being slowly ceding,
My voice, inaudible, pleading,
To know what torments it bears.

“Do you not know who I am”, it asked
And the creature almost smiling,
Almost beguiling
Me, as if reconciling
Us, turned to me and spoke softly

“No, I am you”.

The author's comments:

I unserstand this poem is very long, however note that it is possible to publish each part individually. 

(If you decide to do so (if you indeed chose to publish it) here are the titles that fit each part (for "I am you" only works with part III) : Part I: "Shaped "; Part II : " An depiction of childhood" ; Part III : "I am you."

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This article has 17 comments.

leeaport said...
on Feb. 21 2020 at 6:42 pm
leeaport, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would rather die of passion than boredom" -Vincent Van Gogh

I especially love the line, "fishes are swimming in her head"

on Mar. 26 2019 at 7:29 am
Halcyonday PLATINUM, Johnson City, Tennessee
22 articles 24 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and cry at a funeral? It is because we are not the ones involved."
-Mark Twain, "Pudd'nHead Wilson"

This is enthralling! I just reread it twice trying to pick a favorite section, but it was impossible to choose

on Mar. 14 2019 at 9:56 pm
nikbha21 BRONZE, Hillsborough, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
love this! great imagery

Eteim said...
on Mar. 6 2019 at 2:34 pm
Eteim, Asperes, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I absolutely love this !

on Mar. 4 2019 at 9:00 am
kristjanscott BRONZE, Columbia, South Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Atticus,he was real nice...."

"Most people are,sout,when you finally see them"

-To Kill A Mockingbird,HAPPER LEE

Astonishing potery

Jack2002 said...
on Mar. 2 2019 at 8:09 am
Jack2002, Dublin, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
You must be the change you want to see in this world

Really enjoyed this poem. Part III especially moved me and has inspired me to think about writing poetry myself. Wonderful work.

Alexmckeon said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 7:05 pm
Alexmckeon, Houma, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is so freaking good!!! When did you turn into a famous poet?!!?! LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!! Want to hear one in person soon!

KSarahB said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 3:08 pm
KSarahB, Baltinglass, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I cant stop reading this - every time I do I find something new. It's so captivating. This is a truly remarkable poem and this talent needs to be shared with the world.

DannyBee said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 3:01 pm
DannyBee, Baltinglass, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
So raw. So honest. This poet captures me from the very start. I can't wait to see more of her work. You are so inspiring.

LiamDanny said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 2:55 pm
LiamDanny, Baltinglass, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
A talent that not only deserves to be recognised, but NEEDS to be recognised. My goosebumps had goosebumps. Outstanding piece.

KatieLiam said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 2:48 pm
KatieLiam, Baltinglass, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
What an incredibly talented young author. The future is bright. I just want to read more - frankly, I would read this girls shopping list!! This piece has such an effortless flow and is beyond powerful. I have read this poem several times and each time it gives me goosebumps. This poem needs to be showcased and shared with the world! Truly outstanding - take a bow!

MBranagan said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 10:44 am
MBranagan, Donard, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow! Wow! Wow! I love this poem, I’ve read it several times and find something new each time. It really intrigues me, I look forward to seeing more great works from this author.

JessJessBBB said...
on Mar. 1 2019 at 1:53 am
JessJessBBB, Paris, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I wish I could write poems like this. Amazing stuff, you have a gift with words. Give us more...!

on Feb. 28 2019 at 2:27 am
Sunshineeeeeeeeeeeee, Portland, Maine
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Incredibly beautiful and honest and moving. Stopped me in my tracks.

Jteim said...
on Feb. 27 2019 at 5:20 pm
Jteim, Aspères, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Vraiment très fort. Bravo.

anonymous45 said...
on Feb. 27 2019 at 12:07 pm
anonymous45, Asperes, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
It is so amazing when someone articulates the way you feel about something and you think, Yes! That's what I wanted to say!!! but couldn't....

Sueteim said...
on Feb. 27 2019 at 11:27 am
Sueteim, Asperes, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow ! I cant believe this deep and meaningful poem was written by a 15 year old !
Well done !!