It has come to my attention that there are amongst us some people who believe the ninja would be able to beat the Pashtun clan.  If you think so too, I have to question your sanity. The doubters probably do not believe me, so now I have to write this to prove you wrong.
 

The ninja were ancient Japanese assassins whose heyday were during the Edo period (1600’s). Their origins are widely debated, however it appears that they may have just started off as lower class people who learned how to fight to defend themselves against the Samurai. As time went on they became better at the art of combat and gained popularity, some important people started to hire them as assassins to kill other important people. They used a variety of weapons ranging from the katana to shurikens and blow darts. Their biggest asset, however was stealth which makes sense because their job was to sneak into people’s homes and kill them. They were also very skilled at a tactic I call “jumping out of nowhere, stabbing you and then running away”. The Samurai of the time viewed ninjas as ‘dishonorable’ and ‘unmanly’. The ninjas didn’t really care as long as it got the job done, whether it was throwing dirt in your face, killing you in your sleep or hiding in your lavatory with a sword. Ninjas must also have had a mastery over parkour, the fasted way to get from point A to point B. The history of the ninja is shrouded in mystery but the most famous ninjas were Hattori Hanzo, Kumawakamaru and Momochi Sandayu

In the other corner we have the Pashtuns, (a.k.a. Pakhtuns or Pathans) the most independent human beings on the planet. Their people and way of life have endured 20,000 years, which is more than the Vikings, Samurai, Spartans and ninjas combined. Their set of non-written laws Pashtunwali is as old as they are and stress upon hospitality bravery and honor. Their origins however is a complete mystery, even the wisest and oldest among them have different views. Some people say they were Iranians others say they have Turkish or Assyrian heritage while yet others say they are the lost tribes of Israel or that they are the descendants of Alexander the great or Genghis Khan. They first came on the scene when Alexander the Great marched into Afghanistan. He had just finished demolishing the Persian Empire within 6 months but it took him 3 years to cross Afghanistan. There his army were constantly harassed by the Pashtun tribesman and he was nearly killed by an arrow. When his mother asked him what the matter was he replied “I am involved in a land of Leonine [lion-like] and brave people where every foot of the ground is like a wall of steel, confronting my soldier. You have brought only one Alexander into the world, but every mother in this land has brought an Alexander in the world”. By the time his men finally crossed Afghanistan and reached what is now India they numbers were greatly reduced and they were weary and sick of war. They only managed one more battle before going back home. Fast forward a few hundred years and they were raiding India led by Mahmud Ghaznavi. In the 1838 the British Empire invaded the land, four years later only one man came back alive. The British tried again in 1878 but were forced to retreat after two years. In 1979 the Russians tried and failed. One Russian officer said “They are the bravest people on earth, they can’t be defeated”. The USA have also been bogged down there for the best part of 13 years where they had to face both hospitable and hostile tribes. Due to all these failures the lands of the Pashtuns and Afghanistan have been called, The Graveyard of Empires.
  

If a fight were to occur between these two groups the Pashtuns would win hands down. The ninja possess great skill but they don’t have half of the ferocity and heart of the Pashtuns. The Pashtuns have thrived in the mountains of Afghanistan and Pakistan (which is generally a hostile environment).They are fiercely independent, even today the Pakistani government has little to no control over their region which is known as F.A.T.A. (federally administered tribal area). Ninja lack the heart or the courage to face the Pashtuns. If they indeed met in combat, it would go a little something like this.
  

A group of Pashtun tribesmen are walking in a valley, it would probably be at night and in the 17th century. All of the sudden a bunch of black-robbed ninjas appear seemingly out of nowhere and attack. This first wave would result in the deaths of quite a few Pashtuns by the slashing katanas or the shurikens and the darts or whatever creative weapon they happened to be carrying. Once the initial surprise is over the tables turn almost instantly. A man once said “In the hour of need, there’s no one you’d rather have at your side then a Pashtun” and the Pashtun counter-attack would be terrible. Pashtuns would draw their weapons and attack with the fury of a thousand suns. Alexander the Great said “May God protect you from the venom of a snake, the bite of a tiger and the revenge of an Afghan (i.e. Pashtun)” and the fact that the ninjas had killed some of their own would make them even angrier and thus more ferocious. Unable to withstand the attack the ninjas would run away and disappear into the night as they normally would, leaving behind many dead and ensuring victory for the Pashtuns.