When i was 5, my dream was to grow up. I seem to forgot that nightmares are dreams too. I expected growing up, i would be satisfied with my life. I expected that by my teenage years, my looks will get better and that i will even have a boyfriend. Also, my grades will be the best among the best and i will be envied and oh how wonderful that would be. But in reality, it turned the total opposite way. I thought that the world was fair. Oh, how silly was I. Now reaching the age of 14, only to realise how wrong i was. I see the world in a different view. I met a new world. My eyes were open. Some was good but mostly it was bad. Or you can say stressful. I never thought school would be such a heavy burden. Doing all these studying, doing sports and curriculum activities. Back and forth, the same thing I feel everyday which is fatigue. Growing up, i realise there are and  will be more responsibility that i will hold. Questions keep on creeping on my mind, why am i living like this? School lasts for 10 hours with an additional 2 hours for preparation class. Also sports and curriculum activities in the evening and sometimes night. Even with those 12 hours of studying, why am I not getting any smarter? The purpose for all this is for me to get a good result for SPM, to get into a good university. And in there, i need to get a good job with a good pay and basically I work until my heart stops beating. Am I just going to spend all my youthful days trapped in this place? People, or should i say adults, wants the teehnagers to be happy. They want the teenagers to be healthy. Yet they take the time for us to play outside and replace it with more studying. They want teenagers with "critical thinking" but they despise when teenagers voice out their opinion. Claiming they are still young and know nothing about the world. They say to deal with it, because this is how the world is. But no, this is the world they made. Switching from watching cartoons to dramas to the news. Replacing the place to keep your toys with books, and more books. Telling those teenagers they are not trying when they are just because they do not meet the expectations.. And once those teenagers grow up, they become the same heartless adults. Forgetting how they used to be a teen and how tiring it was. And each time they make it harder for the next generation because they believe that they had it hard and it is only fair if only everyone gets it hard, or even harder than them. In the end, there is no love but just competitions between people in this world.   Is this what you call growing up? If so, i wish to sign out of this.